Infancy - our adaptations

Most families that want to start Montessori from the earliest ages, know about the book Montessori from the Start. I have mixed feelings, personally; but it is a good place to start! Just know that what you do probably won't match exactly!

Our family's differences:

• attached
• family bed
• self-weaned nursing
• we moved a lot in his first year of life

Montessori is not opposed to any of these modes of parenting. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!


Attachment
We had a Nojo sling - and LOVED it. I picked up a crying baby, or sang to him, or rubbed his back or tummy. He had lots and lots of floor time, but he needed to be close to people and their warmth.

I did this with all of my daycare children. I kept them close until they were comfortable venturing further away. And they did become comfortable quickly because they knew I was a solid presence and my home was for them to explore. We do this with Montessori children of all ages - above infancy and toddlerhood it is a normalization thing and a responsibility thing - both on the part of the child. In infancy and toddlerhood, it is a trust thing on the part of the child.


Family Bed
We had a mattress on the floor - but we shared it. This really worked great for so many reasons. During my pregnancy I found it easier to get out of bed with the mattress on the floor (roll over onto hands and knees and get up from there) versus trying to sit up then stand up out of a higher bed when I visited family.

When he was born and had some jaundice, we had to bring home a bili-blanket (it looks like a spaceship landing in your bedroom at 2 am when you're sleep-deprived), so this sat on the floor and was hooked up to him just fine - no dangling cords or fanagling lay-outs - we just set it up and away the jaundice went!

By being on the floor with him I was aware of drafts or anything that could be potentially harmful. I also could have him with me without fear of him falling off.

I was still in college when he was born (3 weeks before final exams!), so the whole attachment and family bed just *worked* - we were together and I could be studying, getting more sleep when he's right next to me at night (night-nursing), etc. Somewhere there's a photo of us taking one of my final exams together....


Weaning
Note on the weaning: there are two definitions of weaning and we should recognize them when we start to compare "modes of weaning".

1. completely done with nursing or bottle (think North America)
2. first bite of non-nursing/formula (think Great Britain)

These definitions sure change some of the arguments on both sides, huh?

My son self-weaned (definition #1) sometime before he turned 3. Even by then, he would go a day or two or longer between nursings. We just kept this totally low-key, just as with the attachment section above.


Moving
Moving a lot worked to our advantage. I knew there were going to be at least 3 moves in the first year and I told my family as they planned all the gizmos and gadgets they were going to get for the new baby, "I am not going to be a moving furniture store!" It still took some coaxing but the message finally got through.

What I found useful:

• stroller with removable infant seat - strong and sturdy, thus gifted to a new family later
• umbrella stroller - for some reason we still have this in the closet even though he's far too old ???
• pack and play (not by choice, but it did come in handy when I was required to have it by daycare laws) --- if I have another child, we won't be using this item
• tiltable booster seat with detachable tray (latch to a regular chair or set on the floor or on a restaurant seat, etc. This worked great until he outgrew it (over age 4) - well worth the investment and takes up so much less space than a huge high chair)
• boppy pillow (I still use this as a pillow for myself!)
• cloth diaper pail and cloth diapers/wipes - all items have been re-purposed elsewhere since then
• bouncer (not by choice; could have done without; found it useful at rare times though - would not use again for another baby)
• lots of blankets! Can't have too many blankets! 
• toddler: we had a toilet seat that was installed onto the regular seat - the adults would have to lift it up to use the regular seat; but the lid closed over it. Really nice! 
• 2 stools (one for the toilet, one for the bathroom sink)
• swingable baby gate - top of the stairs in one house we stayed

We moved 6 official times that first year; no, we moved 6 official times in the first 10 1/2 months not counting 7 weeks of constant traveling. 

At 10 1/2 months we were finally in the home we would stay for another year and a half. It was at this home, my next post describes. 

Discovery of Montessori

For years I've wanted to be a teacher, and spent most of my high school time at the local elementary school as a teacher's aide, assistant, leading special topics, volunteering in other capacities, observing, interviewing, etc. Something wasn't right, but I'd determined to be a special ed teacher, working with children who have emotional and social handicaps.

I started college before finishing high school, beginning an associate's in child development so I could transfer into elementary ed at a 4-year school and have my ZA endorsement. Yep. I had it all planned out!

But a student in one of my child development classes asked about Montessori. The professor said that she didn't know much, but she'd observed one day. She described the following incident and asked us, "What is missing?"

A child went to a shelf and chose a tray with items on it. He brought it back to a table and sat down. He removed all the items from the tray, did something with them, and after a little while, he put everything back on the tray, carried it back to the shelf and replaced it. He then walked away to wander the room for a little while before choosing another tray. 

Of course we all responded, "Socialization!" But still it didn't sit right with me. Why would all these people go to an elite school (I really didn't know much about Montessori at the time except it was a unique program and anyone earning their associate's degree while working at this type of school had to have modifications made to their requirements), spend all that money, for their children to work with items on a tray?????

I didn't have time to research it, but I did sign myself up to be a substitute at all local area schools, daycares and the like.

One day I was called to sub at a Montessori school. I thought, "This will be great to see what is going on with all this hoolaballoo!"

Oh my! I had NO IDEA what I was in for! At first, I only subbed in the childcare room at this particular school - designed for the 3 and 4 year olds in the afternoon who did not nap but whose parents were working (the nappers joined when they woke up); then the elementary children came in after school until everyone was picked up. Not all of the materials were pure Montessori materials, but the methodology was there, the attitude, the respect ---- the entire atmosphere, environment and the prepared adults. I was told to just sit and observe - quietly notify the main teacher of any issues she didn't see right away, and to please do intervene for anything dangerous. Ok - that makes sense - it's a new environment for me, so I appreciated the expectation that it would be all new and overwhelming for me.

The children - get this - they *socialized!* They worked together, they played games, they watered plants, read stories to each other (whether made up or actually reading, I don't know!), they had a loft that was set up for housekeeping play (this was the childcare room after all), they had some of the typical Montessori materials, and they had some additional building materials. They even had work on trays. Everything was very well laid-out, organized, inviting... The children were cooperative with one another, respectful.... I can't say enough!

I was HOOKED.

The following week or so, I was asked to cover in a lower elementary room. The main teacher would be out, and the assistant would take her place, so I was the fill-in assistant for the hours I was available. She was very gentle in guiding me in my expectations and how to interact with the children - verifying their work, rather than "checking". These children were so peaceful, so joyful, and working so hard!

The grammar materials, what I now know as the Logical Analysis material, were what hooked me at this level. These children were writing or copying these beautiful literature phrases and studying the function of words and analyzing their meanings... and of their own free will, writing them out again with the symbols above their words - and even further illustrating their work!

Another group of children were working on a BIG project that was nearing completion. I was not fortunate enough to be there for their final presentation - but if it was as good as the portions I saw - WONDERFUL!

These were "normal" children - without the typical attitude and lack of respect you find in so many other schools. They were cooperating, responsible, following work contracts and journaling their progress - and these were only 6, 7, and 8 year olds!


After that, I subbed in several of the other classrooms as well as the first two again. The infant/toddler room just threw me off. I couldn't grasp it at first or even for a quite a while, but I had a deep appreciation for it. Now I get it, but that is another story!

Welcome to Montessori Trails

Pic from a year after this post was written

As a way of introducing myself:

I am currently an elementary Montessori homeschooling mom - of a precocious, beautiful 7 year old boy - the light of my life.
(Update: November 16, 2019, Joshua Alexander passed away at age 15 - delivering a customer's package to the outgoing mailbox across the street. He was Montessori homeschooled his entire life.)

I have officially been with Montessori for 15 years and have embraced it whole-heartedly. You'll see that I've made some adaptations for our particular circumstances, but they all "fit" into the Montessori philosophy of cosmic education.

I have way too much college education: associates in child development (anti-Montessori professors); associates in liberal arts; bachelor's in theology with unofficial minors in business administration and child development (still anti-Montessori); master's degree programs in Montessori education and in theology.... and AMI Primary Montessori Training for ages 3-6 (more like 2 1/2-6) and AMI Elementary Montessori training for ages 6-12.

I run two small businesses from my home:
Keys of the Universe and Garden of Francis - with some offshoots!
Keys of the Universe - Online Montessori Training
Keys of the Universe Montessori - Materials, Mentor access (videos, albums, online support)
Keys of the World - Materials, Mentor access to Montessori homeschool curriculum for ages 3-6
Garden of Francis - homemaking, educational materials and Montessori supplies
The Shepherd and The Vine - Montessori-based religious educational materials


I also run a local part-time Montessori co-op, lead atrium sessions for Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, and otherwise keep myself far too busy for my own good!

My son has officially attended 2 Montessori schools, and unofficially attended a countless number, in addition to our homeschool and co-op. But all those details are to come!

I have also run a Montessori-based daycare in two of our homes. I had children ages 6 weeks to 13 years at varying times. I had my home available 24/7, and I accommodated part-time, full-time, routine-schedules and sporadic schedules - we lived in a college town so this worked wonderfully for everyone involved.

My hope is that this blog will provide inspiration for others while I chronicle our Montessori Trails from my first discovery of Montessori through infancy, toddler, primary, and now in elementary - to this morning when my son spent most of this time organizing "business finances" and scheduled a trip to the bank for some currency exchanging. Yes, at 7, he runs his own business too: Hearts in Wonderland on Etsy

From sub, to aide, to homeschool, to tutor, to mentor, to so many roles - please join me!